Bust a Crap in Santa's Ass!!! BOOOi!

Santana is a wonderful man and all his guitar playing brings joy to boys and girls around the world, but mostly just to drunken cougars who use Santana as an excuse to dirty dance and try and pick up young virgin men. God bless them all.

The internet now provides so many ways to communicate your love to your fellow brothers, sisters and Santa. Through the power of electricity I have sent emails to Santa on behalf of my friends, so that they can be guaranteed to have their Christmas wishes come true.

Letters to Santa via MSN website:

Dear Satan,

I would love to have lots of bitches just like 50 Cents. I don't want to get shot though.

Thanks, Dingus
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Dearest Stan,
I enjoy Harry Potter so much that I wish that for Christmas you would kill all of my annoying enemies. The End.

P.S. I would like you to make my cats talk so they can just tell Mommy how much they love her little nose kisses. Oh and please give the kitties adamantium claws so I can send them out to destroy annoying neighbourhood pets that crap on our lawn.

Love you,
Hilby

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Dear Sanity,
Why have you left me?

Secondly, please make my homeland a safe place for all minorities, except for the white Yabbos who started ruining the country as soon as they had their dirty white asses thrown on our beaches. I suppose this makes me racist of my own race, but that is ok because I live in another country and I am not afraid to cowardly condemn my people and government from halfway around the world.

Thirdly, can you please make sure that a straight man comes within 1 kilometer of my new home. I'm sure that I could smell him if such a beast existed.

Thank you, and if i do not get what I want this Christmas I will hold my friends hostage with yet another boring and pointless story of how I drank myself into oblivion thanks to my little buddy - Fosters.

Yours,
Lando